Counting My Blessings: A Journey with GodJan 23, 2024
Thank you for the countless miracles I experience every day. Thank you that I don't have to earn Your love because it's Your abundant grace. Thank you that I have a warm bed, clean drinking water, and hot showers. Thank you that Maverick, in his almost two years of age, has a better life than I had the first eighteen years. Thank you that Jake and I have a healthy marriage and genuinely love spending time together. I'm truly so blessed - thank You God!
Often times, I wonder, "why me?"
I've been freed from an addiction of numbing with alcohol, generational strongholds, childhood PTSD, healed from physical and mental challenges, and worshiping money as a god.
Again and again, you've graciously pursued me, picking up my broken pieces and putting me back together... into a newer version.
If you never gave me one other blessing, to add to this big pile, on top of my salvation, I'd have countless of reasons to over flow with joy!
Yet, I spent the last week on an incredible sight-seeing, family adventure, that's blown my mind.
We've watched the pink and orange sun set, over breath-taking, tide pools with waves crashing onto the shore, while Maverick collects seashells and rocks.
We hiked the rocky dessert, as the sun set, with 10-foot cactus decorating the hills, as Jake and I laughed watching Maverick stand in victory after climbing a big rock, like he summited a mountain.
Tonight, we ran through the White Sand Dunes that looked like gigantic hills covered in fresh snow as we laughed, sledding down them, with freezing cold toes.
So many family memories with incredible pictures, I assumed I wouldn't ever have the chance to experience because I wouldn't be healthy, whole, or "fixed" enough.
God, "why me?"
I'm not worthy. I could never earn these blessings.
When I lay my head down on the pillow guilt creeps in, "I don't deserve life to be this good" kind-of-thoughts. Then, I remind myself of Your reckless words of love.
"This is real love - not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." - 1 John 4:10
It all starts with YOU - who You are.
When I feel tempted to try to earn Your love or explain away the perfect gifts You've generously given, I'll remind myself, once again - "this is real love, Whit, because God loved you first."
Until then, I'm going to keep tracking all the countless miracles, gifts, and love letters You send me.
Thanks God! I love you. xoxo
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