Episode #36 You're Never the Victim

Our life is filled with events - and those events determine our experience ...or DO they???  Jack Canfield says that our experience is actually the SUM of our life's events PLUS our response.  That's a big deal it means that we have a say over our own experience of life.  Viktor Frankl goes one step further to say,

"In a position of utter desolation, when a man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way - an honorable way - in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment."

The bottom line is that we respond to each event of our life with maturity, or with immaturity ...or more bluntly as an "Emotional Adult" or an "Emotional Child".  The more time we spend in emotional adulthood, the more fulfilling our experience of life.  As with many things, the first step toward choosing on purpose is recognition.

Emotional Childhood

  • Don’t take responsibility for your own feelings
  • Let another person or circumstance dictate how you think/feel
  • Give away all your power
  • Rebel against what you want
  • Exaggerate events with unnecessary drama (lie)
  • Blame others or events
  • Throw tantrums
  • “I’ll eat whatever I want. You’re not the boss of me. I’ll show you”
  • “I need to check out of my life”
  • “It’s not fair”
  • “But I deserve it”

Emotional Adult

  • Take complete responsibility for your feelings no matter what is going on around you
  • Decide how you think or feel, regardless of other people or circumstances
  • Take back all your power
  • Respect what you want
  • Present factual accounts of events
  • Accept full responsibility for your role in relationships and events
  • Deal with your emotions by pausing coping, doing thought downloads managing stress
  • Show up with ownership, empowerment, conscious choices.
  • “I respect myself by eating foods that feel good in my body”
  • “I deserve to be present in my life. I pay attention with curiosity”
  • “This is happening for me”
  • “This is my choice and I accept full responsibility for the outcome”

Check out the podcast on the player linked above and learn to tell the difference.  Then opt-in at fit-bar.com to find out your emotional age!!