Steadfast Life Podcast

We all believe that holding our standards and demanding people rise to meet them is a powerful stance - but it is NOT!!

The most powerful person in the room is the person who does not need anyone in the room to do or be any particular thing in order for them to be okay.

The person who has the self awareness to know what it is they are hoping to get when the world changes to meet their expectations, then builds the skill of offering it to themselves …so THEY hold the power instead of the world.

Want to learn how to become aware of the places you are giving your power away?  Want it back?

Cognitively we KNOW that forgiveness is a good thing, but what about our safety?

If I forgive, doesn’t that just let them off the hook?

Doesn’t it remove ANY accountability for their actions?

How will they learn their lesson?

Won’t people just walk all over me?

Let’s take a look at options that become available if forgiveness is safe!

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” - Mark 11:25

Here’s the link to the meditation I use: https://www.steadfastlifecoaching.com/products/meditations/categories/3660876/posts/12858462

Comment if you want me to send you the forgiveness script that Whit and I use.

Whit and Jake are Christian Life Coaches at Steadfast Life Coaching.  We bridge the gap between the secular wisdom of the self-help world and the transformative power of faith in Jesus.

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Dr. Bob Rotella puts it in his book "Golf is Not a Game of Perfect”:

"The trusting mentality is essential for getting ready to play competitively. If you want to be able to trust your swing on the golf course, you have to spend time doing it on the practice tee. Human beings are creatures of habit.

They cannot, as a general rule, spend all of their practice time in the training mentality and then switch to the trusting mentality for competition.

…so how do you practice in a trusting mindset if you need to have enough reps before you can REALLY trust your game?

Click play :)

Here’s a link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/Golf-Not-Game-Perfect-Rotella/dp/068480364X

“I can’t disappoint people - I just have a big heart” - Do you? Or are you really just avoiding the emotion that comes up when your actions don’t match someone else’s expectation?

Disappointing people is simply a name we give to the experience of making choices that don’t match OTHER people's expectations.  There are a lot of times when taking the value aligned action that defines showing up authentically is to everyone’s benefit.  Especially when it is the only way to pursue the mission that God has charged us to steward.

So how do you foster the art of disappointing people?

1. Know your values - answer the tough questions
2. Check in with yourself before, during, and after
3. Build your capacity to feel what comes up

There is NO benefit to guilt!!  Okay ...maybe there’s a tiny miniscule benefit, but the way you show up in guilt is so unhealthy that even THAT doesn’t get to add value to your life.

So what DOES it look like to show up WELL in guilt?

1. You don’t over explain yourself
2. You don’t always change the plan you made before it was challenged
3. You don’t resist guilt or allow it to drive your choices
4. You trust yourself to make a value aligned decision in real time

Skip the “pros and cons list” it’s ineffective and it leads you to this stressful place where your decision making skill is more like future predicting skill.  If I have to know the future to make good choices ...then yes, I am definitely living in stress!!

So what if you separated the SKILL of choosing from the outcome?  What if you elevated your experience of choosing?  How fast could you move forward then?

The thing about myths is that they tend to keep us in a box.  Then we use the limits of the box to determine if we’re doing good or bad - and if we are or are not capable of success in the future.

In this episodes, Whit Busts these FOUR MYTHS about weightloss

1. I MUST eat perfectly at least 80% of the time to lose weight
2. I MUST workout 3-5 times per week to lose weight
3. I MUST become a “health freak” to lose weight
4. I MUST shame myself for errors so that I can stay accountable in order to lose weight.

Any of these seem true to you?

Yeah ...that’s the thing about myths.  The problem is that we believe them.

It’s a pretty common cycle when you’re trying to change an eating habit - restrict, overeat, guilt, restrict ...ad nauseum.  The big error is actually WHERE we attempt to disrupt this cycle.  Right in the little space between restrict and fail.

The REAL culprit is the guilt!

Without guilt, you can evaluate, you can learn, you can experiment, you can make 1% adjustments, you can find out what works best for you now, and you can understand how to make adjustments as needed in the future.

With guilt - you punish, you berate, you force, you deny, you suffer, you battle, you judge ...and you overeat ...again.

It’s not you - it’s the guilt!  Learn how to elevate your relationship with food to place beyond guilt.  Understand your TRUE authority over this cycle!

I've wanted to be the hero since I can remember.  My first concussion came from jumping off of a boulder onto my dad without him knowing because I had seen the hero do it on TV.

Unfortunately that incident was not enough to teach me the danger of the love affair with swooping to the rescue.  When I became a father, in my mind it was hero or failure.  I set out to be my daughter's hero ...and full transparency, it was more like her invincible, bulletproof, unstoppable SUPER hero.

It was WAY too much pressure because it turns out I am, in fact, mortal.  I truth that punched my right in the face when I had to sit down and tell her that the security I had assured her would last forever was actually a security too heavy for me to carry and that it was all about to come crashing down ..and she was going to get hurt.  I couldn't protect her this time.  Even worse, I was the one that was about to hurt her.