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Steadfast Life Podcast

Allowing Disappointment

 

BIG BELIEF is just so scary because it creates opportunity for BIG DISAPPOINTMENT!  I suppose you could just believe small, achieve small, love small, and live small, but if you're reading this - those kinds of solutions are not an option for you!

The best solution is to build your CAPACITY to feel disappointment so that when it does show up, it doesn't have such a devastating impact.  

How do you do that?  You FEEL it!  You don't buffer it, you don't resist it, and you don't appease it.  You ALLOW it.

In this episode Whit discusses the BIG DISAPPOINTMENT she felt after choosing the BIG BELIEF that she was pregnant.  She holds nothing back as she walks you through the practical steps and the emotional experience of befriending her disappointment.

"As I continue to practice allowing ALL emotion, my life gets fuller, richer, and more authentic." - Whit

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Building From Peace not Pressure

Pressure.

It's described as continuous force exerted on or against.

When growing in business or a business it’s easy to fall into pressure.

- Constantly thinking of work when you’re not working.
- Not having boundaries on work in your personal life.
- Justifying being stressed most days. - Dreading tasks or deadlines.
- Procrastinating and exhausting yourself.

But, Why?

I want to hit my goals, so bad.

It’s the only way. If I slow down fear and doubt knock on the door, “you’re not doing enough”, “you’re a fraud”.

I am very familiar with this pressure and fear-based mindset.

I also used to motivate myself this way.

It left me burnt out and not enjoying my life.

Imagine, waking up free from that pressure. You feel a healthy motivation that comes with ease.

Working becomes enjoyable again.

You are present with loved ones when you’re not working.

You don’t feel stressed about work.

You get more done because you...

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Laughing Through the Heavy Stuff

Uncategorized Oct 08, 2020

 

The best word to describe the time we've spent with Lindsey is DELIGHTFUL.  As we worked with her and watched her grow through over 65lbs of weight loss, we would consistently find ourselves blown away by 2 things:

1. Lindsey's willingness to hold her story loosely.  She had her justifications, her excuses, and her well rehearsed stories of her limitations just like the rest of us.  The difference was that she wasn't so chained to them.  When she saw them, rather than fight to defend them ...she would laugh ...HARD!

2.  Lindsey's consistency in her weight loss - as a matter of fact she has had the most steady and uninterrupted weight loss of any client we've worked with.

Now she is NOT the most driven, striving, hustling, grinding client we've worked with ...hmmm, isn't that interesting.

Is there something to this "laughing and adapting" technique of hers??  We think it's worth exploring in a podcast for sure!!

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Your Worth is NOT a Number on a Scale

Uncategorized Sep 24, 2020

 

When Chelsie started her time with Steadfast Life Coaching, her biggest obstacle was that she didn't believe she was worth the tough choices required to reach her goals.  She was plagued by lies running on repeat in her mind that had been so well practiced they now felt like truth.

The journey away from one framework of belief to another can be extremely uncomfortable, so Chelsie started off by borrowing belief from Whitney and I ...and her supportive husband.  As she kept doing the work she built some belief in herself and the progress was even faster.

Recently she began to include her faith in Jesus as she sought this transformation ...and that adjustment has changed EVERYTHING!!!

If you feel trapped by the story in your mind ...or if you just thought, "Yeah, but mine's not a story, it's reality" - then Chelsie's story could be just what you need to put some cracks in that wall that is holding you back.

And when you're ready to bust those cracks open, that's our...

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Feeling Offended, This Could Be Why

forgivness gratitude peace Sep 18, 2020

Lately, I've been doing some deep forgiveness work on my dad. If you don't know my story, in a nutshell, my dad was a Ranger in Vietnam. He struggled with severe PTSD and alcoholism. He's a good man, but tormented by post-war illnesses. 

I forgave him years ago, for all the trauma I experienced.  So, I assumed this work was complete. In many ways, it had improved tremendously.

Recently, I noticed, in my self-coaching and time with the Lord, I was still getting offended easily by others. Which caused me to put internal walls up and harden my heart for hours, sometimes even an entire day. 

"What's going on- I know better than to STAY angry or NOT forgive, quickly."

Thankfully, I'd finished an amazing book called, Experiencing the Father's Embrace by Jack Frost. I recommend you read this book, if you haven't.

The author addresses this exact problem- being offended easily and the need to control others which leads to unforgivness, anger, resentment, or bitterness....

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Life After People Pleasing

Uncategorized Sep 10, 2020

 

You've been there before.  You're committed.  You've got a plan.  You've prepped your veggies and protein.  This is the week you're going to make the changes.  And then it begins:

  • "Mom - I'm not going to be able to eat before practice tonight." 
  • "Is it OK if Maddy spends the night?" 
  • "Hey babe, let's do date night Thursday night.  What do you say to going out to a nice restaurant and getting appetizers AND dessert!?!?"

Maybe you even get the words out, "I had planned to eat healthy this week."

But the rebuttals come in, "Oh come on - you deserve a night out."  "One dinner won't make that much of a difference."

And deep down, you agree, but mostly because you think the same stuff.  It's not going to make a difference, I'll just blow it in a few days anyway, it's so selfish to ruin everyone's night since I never even stick with it."

...and there it is.  You go to the back burner, your weight stays the same, you have...

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No More Shame: The battle is not with food

As a person of faith, I’d pray, “Jesus, help me to stop emotionally eating and giving into cravings.”

It wouldn’t be long after that prayer, I’d be in the pantry eating spoons of Nutella or a bag of chips.

Quickly, I’d feel flooded with guilt, “you’re such a failure. See, you ARE out of control.”

My desire to be healthy, was no longer JUST about losing 40lbs, it was about being free from the guilt.

I WANTED to believe God could help me make healthy changes and stick to them, but WHY wasn’t He helping me?

Sometimes, the more I prayed, the more desperate and out of control I felt.

I discovered, He was teaching me something MUCH bigger than weight loss.

He actually wanted to give me MORE than I could see.

 

Today, I know what was missing: I was focused on fixing the symptom not the cause.

The battle wasn’t with food/drink.

The battle was with the mind.

 

I stopped thinking "I'm such a failure and out of...

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Blog: Errors are Your Pathway to Success

Uncategorized Aug 28, 2020

 “I’ve failed so many times that I’ve lost belief in myself” is the fastest way to QUITTING on what you want. That's a deadly thought, yet soo common!

Here's the TRUTH: Repeatable success is built FROM making ERRORS and LEARNING from them.

Yes, you read that correctly- doing it wrong (like not sticking to the plan) so you can acquire knowledge.

Errors = opportunities.

Think about a result you would love to have in 6 months. Maybe it’s weight loss, a healthy lifestyle, doubling your income, or improving a difficult relationship.  

When you think about that goal, it’s common for your brain to bring up all your past errors- compiling up evidence to why it’s NOT possible, how it’s been so hard, and that you don’t know how to get there.

You quickly feel discouraged or disappointed-right?

So what do you do then?

Get busy with “all the other things” and convince yourself you just don’t have time to go after...

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The 5am Trade. Is it worth it?

Uncategorized Aug 27, 2020

 

Whit and I break down our path through the obstacles to becoming "morning people."  The biggest game changer was getting honest about what we'd have to give up and what we would gain.  Having the TRUTH on the table ...NOT just the story we were telling ourselves ...allowed to us to truly understand what we were trading.

We had a lot of resistance when Whit brought up the idea of going running at 5am in the Winter of 2017 - one main point of contention was that WE WEREN'T RUNNERS!!!

Other thoughts like

  • I don't have time
  • It will be too hard
  • I'll just quit
  • It's not safe
  • It might be unhealthy
  • It's not going to make any difference

...then the kicker:  I can't get up that early because I WILL BE TOO TIRED.

It sounded so true ...after all it's science.  Less sleep = more tired.  But did there NEED to be less sleep?  Wait - why DO I go to bed at 11pm?  Aaahhh - T.V.

So I actually COULD do this, but I'd need to give up T.V.  Now this just went...

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How to Overcome "Impossible"

 

As Whit and I get back to life after taking 12 teenagers on a 7-day wilderness adventure, we reflect on some of the insights that came up while the kids were staring at challenges with NO BELIEF that success was possible.  Then what they learned as they leaned into the impossible hard enough to make it possible.

The key is the fuel ...the emotion ...the feeling that you are experience as you are taking on a difficult challenge.  I KNOW you have a "mountain" of your own - that challenge in your own life that just looks impossible from here.  I believe that these lesson learned in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in California are the same lessons that help you to climb yours.

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