Steadfast Life Podcast & Blog

Since, my sophomore year in high school I felt an inner pain that I wanted to escape. The pain stemmed from unresolved childhood issues, having an alcoholic father. I didn’t know what to do with it, all I knew is that it felt suffocating at times.

On top of that, I felt an external pressure. I was in Varsity sports, Student council, and voted Homecoming queen. Event though, no one vocalized pressure on me, I felt it. I didn’t want to let people down and got most of my confidence from other’s validation.

I couldn’t keep it up. The internal pain and external pressure became too much to handle.

By the end of my Junior year in high school I was using drugs, sex and alcohol to numb and escape. It’s all I knew. These outlets gave me relief but temporary. For the moment, I felt more free and numb. I chased these momentary highs, constantly needing more just to feel normal. This way of coping became my life.

Until I’d hit rock bottom...